19 weeks and counting......

This week I am officially 21 weeks along, so let the countdown begin! Ha ha it's going to be a long countdown, even though everyone tells me the second half will just fly by...... we shall see won't we?

Except for some pelvic pain (apparently my babies like to rest in my hips) I am feeling pretty good. Definitely looking preggo these days and not mention feeling it as well. Baby D is VERY active, usually when it's about mealtime or at night while Mommy is trying to rest (didn't waste any time training me on that did she?) I can see my belly "pop" with her little kicks and turns and Allen even felt her for the first time as well (or at least he says he did). I for one think it's AMAZING and quite frankly the best feeling in the world!

Even though Tyler would not drop getting a baby brother, he is SUPER excited and anxious to meet his baby sister! He says the cutest things like: "We have to be careful with your tummy because the baby is in there, and we don't want to hurt my baby sister" and "the baby can't understand what we are saying but she can hear our voices". I'd like to think he truly understands more than you think he would, and maybe he does.

After what seemed like the longest Christmas break EVER, Tyler is back to school and the rest of us back to routine. Tyler is truly a child of habit and requires that structure, so we are all MUCH happier people when he is occupied.

Another check up for this Mama on Monday, I just can't wait to hear Peanut's heartbeat again (best sound in the world!) until then.....

Hope you all had wonderful holidays!

5 miraculous years

Today I became the mother of a 5 year old. It's is truly unreal how time goes by. I can still remember things from the birth to an 8 day stay in the NIM and NICU to the first Christmas. But yet somehow 5 years have still passed.

We are so truly blessed and for those who are new friends just flowing this blog probably don't know why.

Tyler is a very special young boy, just as I always new he would be, that had a bit of a rough start. From the moment he appeared we knew something wasn't right. He couldn't catch his breath and get breathing regularly. With some help from many NICU nurses and a NICU C-NP he got under control. Well after being up for about 48 hours with oh only about 45 minutes of sleep, I did not pass up them taking him to the nursery so I could sleep.

When I woke, I didn't hesitate and asked for my baby right away. They let me know they have him a bottle (they hadn't wanted me to nurse yet due to the breathing difficulties) and he was a little fussy. Normal right? When I sent him back to take a shower (finally!) again fussy and still some breathing trouble. After aloud friends and family came to see us (okay they came to see Tyler) again they took him for vitals. At this point I finally started to worry. They were taking him to NIM for the night per the MD on staff to be monitored more closely.

My poor baby. What a fought night he had. He was beside himself. He would not feed so they placed a feeding tube in his nose. He fussed and cried all night long and was so inconsolable that when the nurses himself couldn't calm and soothe him the doctor himself sat in NIM and rocked my baby.

The next day we were allowed to visit him in NIM but they weren't ready to let him leave there yet. This was hard as I still felt like I'd been run over by a train and had to have help getting to and from in a wheelchair and could not sit for long. After returning to my room for lunch sometime later we got the call. His breathing is STOPPING! They were moving him to the NICU to be placed on a C-pap machine to regulate his breath and keep air on his lungs. Having a number sleep apnea family members I knew that was not good.

Again we were allowed to visit in the NICU and hold him and then....then came the seizure. I tell you it is one thing for you newborn full term baby to have some breathing issues, I can deal with that. But to watch a child you have bonded with for nine months turn blue and purple - well there are no words. Everyone rushed to him and we had to go :( NO! I didn't want to leave my baby, he needed me surely. But we had no choice but to return toy room and await a call.

They got him under control but there was no way he was leaving there now! This began a frenzy of putting my baby thru a number of tests. Blood draws, MRI, MRA, CT scan, more blood draws, heart ultrasound you name it! In the mean time that nite he had 4 more seizures and all we could do was wait for the test results for answers.

On the positive note we finally got an answer, but the news you would never expect. Diagnosis: stroke in utero or at birth (the couldn't be sure which). A stroke? My BABY had a stroke? Seems so odd. We were able to meet with a couple Helen DeVos specialists - Neurology and Hematology. The neuro doc had come to explain what they suspect happened. Apparently a piece of my placenta during either labor or birth had broken off, traveled thru the cord, thru his arteries then getting lodged in his brain. Some pretty scary news. What does that mean? Will he be alright? I just want to take my baby home! (At this point I had been discharged, sent home with out my son)

Hematology was in the picture to run some anticoagulant tests and ensure there was no clotting problems. In the meantime into we had more answers he would stay monitored I the NICU receiving fresh frozen plasma treatments, phenobarbatol for the seizure, fluids, antibiotics and who knows what else! There were several tests and they took days to come back. And they one came back one or two at a time.

I spent all day every day with him at the hospital barely even leaving his side to pump or eat, but sometime I didn't have a choice. The wonderful nurses made me. He quickly improved losing his C-pap and me FINALLY being able to feed him a bottle! As more tests returned and he continue to remain stabilized he was moved back into NIM. This was a grilling day as I knew it meant were getting closer to going home!

Eight days later I arrived forum daily visit. The Peds doctor happen to making his rounds and I patiently waited for him to reach Tyler. He greeted me as usual (he was such a sweet man) and as he reviewed Tyler's chart he looked up at me and said 'Let's see what we can so to get this guy to go home today'. I was beeming - I wanted to wrap my arms around him, fall on my need and thank God. He had the hematology specialist rush the results down himself and consult with me for clearance. They scheduled his circumcision. They sent me for CPR class (because of the seizures) and I could wait to call Allen to tell him we could bring our baby home!

I didn't hesitate to do any of it including packing up and getting Monkey dressed to go! Allen had his mom drive him up so we didn't have two cars. We said our finally good byes and thank you's to the NICU staff and left there for hopefully the last time.

This was the end of course. He still required Amit-seizure meds and follow ups with specialists but we were going home. And no sooner did we get on the freeway and what do we hear play "Mama I'm comin' hoooome!". It was meant to be.

sticky fingers

It's here. The time in a young child's life where they start asking about going to Disney World - and it doesn't seem to end. Even on a morning ride to daycare he says "But I didn't even get to go to Disney and see Buzz yet". No kidding. I thought he'd forget about, but he's on a kick. Having never gone myself as a kid I decided it was something we should aim to do in the next couple years (I would so rather he be old enough to enjoy and remember it) So of course, on my obsession have found a couple saving ideas to help get us there. I started saving my change on my night stand (only until I could find a large jar) and had a decent pile going. Yesterday I am cleaning and putting laundry away and I notice just how "clean" my table is. Conversation as follows:

Me: "Tyler."
Tyler: "What?"
Me: "Did you see a bunch of change on Mommy's table in my room?"
Tyler: "Yes."
Me: "Well where is it?"
Tyler: "I took it."
Me: "You took it? And did what with it?"
Tyler: "Put it in my piggy bank."

Smart kid. Apparently we had the same idea in mind.....

excuses....excuses....

There are a ton of them and boy is my 4 year old full of them lately. "My leg hurts", "I don't feel good", "I'm tired", "I have a headache" (my personal fav) you name it, he can prolly come up with it! And while there may be times one of these is true, having to hear it ALL the time - I just don't buy it. Who knew this started at such a young age? And at times it's for sure not easy to deal with. Tyler will use these over and over to get out of cleaning up, dinner, and at times even bath time (which he LOVES!) But in hopes that "this too shall pass" I just continue to acknowledge how he is "feeling", then be quick to change the subject and pray that it work. There are times that are harder than others, I just keep hoping this is just another one of "those phases" people always tell you about.

get outta bed, sleepyhead

Saying that mornings have been rough lately would be an understatement. Somehow, someway I got a 4 year old turned teenager over night. Tyler has always been such a morning kid and never had a problem with him getting up early, especially since he's been doing it since he was 2 months. He's been getting himself dressed for probably about a year or more now, and for a while it worked SO well to get up get everything ready, get HIM up and let him get ready while I showered and he watched cartoons. Then we realized he really needed an extra 1/2 hour sleep and that just wasn't going to work any more. But with out the extra time for him to "wake up", all I hear is whining every morning while I rush around to get ready to go. Last week I went in to get him up and he actually said to me "I just want you to leave me alone so I can SLEEP!!!" (no lie) And every morning was something along those lines. Really?!?!?! YOU'RE FOUR! He also has been slowly (very slowly thank goodness) weening himself from naps :( So my hope is that as he loses sleep the easier bed time will get. I sure do hope the morning thing is a phase, but knowing his dad - this could be a long 14 years to come.....